so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
