i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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