yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dick very happy bro
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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