This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
