Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
