Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
