I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
