Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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