AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
