I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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