i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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