Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I would fuck him just for his dog
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
