He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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