I'm jealous of your bromance
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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