Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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