You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
