Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
