The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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