Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
