ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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