I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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