I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
