What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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