His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
