True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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