OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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