Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
