Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
