so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
