You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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