If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
