he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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