what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
