would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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