i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
