She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't think brook has ever known best
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
