i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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