Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
