Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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