so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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