I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
