Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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