Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
