So drunk its hurt
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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