Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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