With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
