meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize