We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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