what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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