fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
