This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
