roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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