go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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