you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
