I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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