A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
