You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
