I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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