we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
