So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
