The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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