Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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