I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
