i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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