Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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