I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
